What is this Place?

“What is this place?”

You stop and stare

As the sun begins to set

Have you stepped into Wonderland?

Do you feel like Alice?

This place is different,

This place isn’t like anywhere you’ve been before

The sun makes the bridge just a shadow

But you know it’s still a bridge

You can see each of the individual arches of the bridge

The sun also blackens out the ships

The effect of the sun on the other objects

Makes you stop and stare in awe

Snap a picture or two

But it won’t be the same as when you were there

Are you here with someone special?

Did you come here alone?

Did you mean to end up here?

Or were you just wandering around?

This is my home

This is where I was born

I’m meant to be here

I’m meant to be in that boat that you notice out on the ocean

I’m meant to be a shadow in the sun

Yes, now you notice that canoe that I point out

The two people in it as well

No, I don’t know them

Nor do they know me

That doesn’t matter though

Just relax and watch the sun paint the sky

Do you belong here?

Is this your home too?

Look, just over there do you see the spires of the boats?

The picture you see is so majestic

It makes one feel happy to have experienced it

Aren’t you happy to have stopped and seen this sunset?

Do you smell that?

I believe that is the baker down the street

He’s making the last of the cookies for the night

They are chocolate chip

You can smell the chocolaty goodness from here

Ah, smell that salt air

Isn’t it fresh?

Just lift your hands and spin around

Yes, that’s it

Good job

Doesn’t that make you feel free?

It’s a happy feeling isn’t it?

To feel alive?

That’s what oceans and sunsets do

They make you feel happy and alive

I feel bad for those who don’t take the time to notice

Oh! Look at the seagull

See how it’s hovering just in you line of vision?

Do you sometimes wish you could fly away too?

Like a bird that is?

You can get the feeling of freedom too

Close your eyes and let the sun warm you

And the breeze dance with your hair

You can feel it now

The feeling of freedom

The feeling you get when you toss all your cares out

The feeling when you start fresh

When you know there is a brighter future

When you know what people think doesn’t matter anymore

When you know the past is just the past

That is the feeling of freedom

That’s what this pace is

Isn’t it simple?

This place

The world

People

It’s all so simple now

Just stop and watch the sunset with me one more time

We don’t know each other

But we don’t have to

Just stop and listen

Senior Year is so Close

I can taste it. I truly can. I'm honestly ready to be done with this school and close the chapter on my high school experience. I'm just done. First year was great, second year went downhill, this year is just a drag. I've found some great friends and I love them dearly, but I want out of this town and school.

I feel that too many people here are judgmental and racist. I know it might not be much better, but this place is just getting too much. I'm ready to be out there in the world and do what I can to help others. I'm ready to be a part of something bigger instead of sitting in here and learning some things that I may never use for the rest of my life. I just feel like so much pressure is pushed onto high school students that many of us are burning out before senior year. I know I'm like that. It started last year and I was only a sophomore! Its just too much at times and I wonder how some of my friends can survive knowing all they're doing and what classes they are taking.

I guess part of me is itching to get my teaching license. I'm hoping to go to other countries and teach there for a year or two. Who cares if I won't know anyone or if I won't make that much money? I don't. I think it would be a rewarding experience in itself. I feel like I'd be able to make a slight change in the world. Who knows how big, but a change none the less. Maybe I'd journal about my experience and publish that for others to read about my life and discoveries. I'd go to the different festivals of that country and immerse myself in its culture. I'd hopefully pick up on the language a bit.

I don't know. This is just something that I've recently been thinking about a lot. Is it what I'm supposed to do? Hopefully it is. Quite honestly, I know I was supposed to start this blog to blog about psychology stuff for my project, but I have no clue what to talk about. I have no clue what else I could do for my project either. I felt lost from the beginning and stayed lost. The project needs to be done by Monday, so hopefully I'll have somewhat of a decent enough job for her.

Anyways, that's just my thoughts on the subject. I've had high hopes for this year, like maybe I'd get invited to do more things, but nope. Not really. Anyways, I have to go to my next class.

Lessthanthree,
Carissa

Let's Talk Books: Finding Alice Edition

I like books, lots of people do. I don't know whether or not you do, but that is your life and this is mine. So, therefore, neither of us need to like the same thing.

Anywho, I'd like to share my thoughts on a book called Finding Alice. It is a spectacular book by the author Melody Carlson. In a nutshell the book is about a girl with schizophrenia and her journey. Now, that doesn't really tell you much about the book, does it?

I admit, I've never had first hand experience with the disease, but from the way she portrays it and the research she has done, I'd say it's decently accurate. The girl, Alice, has delusions and hallucinations. Most everything she encounters relates in one way or another, at least in her mind, to Alice in Wonderland. I can't really remember all the details as I haven't read the book recently, its just my simple thoughts on the subject.

Anyways, I've researched schizophrenia since then and talked to my parents about it. Actually, interestingly enough they almost adopted a girl that had the chance to be schizophrenic before they adopted me, but didn't. I don't remember the reason why, she may have been adopted by someone else. But, that's my little connection to the disease. I really haven't met anyone that has it.

Its a very sad and debilitating disease. They face many hardships from having this disease. I guess all we can do in the end is pray and stay educated about it. Well, I hope you guys decide to check the book out, its a phenomenal one.

Lessthanthree,
Carissa

Live Your Life to the Fullest

Living life to its fullest...that's sort of hard to do, isn't it? If you think about all the time that we spend at our jobs or in school. Well, I suppose you could take classes that you enjoy or actually find a job you like. I get it. Its not that easy, but that doesn't mean that you should not try. I feel that everyone should make a list of things they want to accomplish in life, not necessarily a bucket list, but that's cool too, but a list of just things in general no matter how big or how small.

If we can achieve even the smallest of these goals we can feel some sort of accomplishment in our lives and perhaps be a bit more cheery or feel the motivation to go that extra mile in another aspect of life. Another thing is, find that job that you love and go for that. Who cares if it isn't the fancy-shmancy doctor or lawyer job that your parents told you to get. Do something you love and are passionate about. This way you will be more intrinsically motivated to do it and it won't seem like a job, but a passion you chose to pursue. I'm not saying everyone drop what you are doing and become an artist, no. If you want to be a doctor, then go for it. Don't let anything hold you back. It doesn't matter where you come from or what your background is, the point of America is we can build our own future.

In times America does look bleak, a bleak chance at getting a job or bleak economy, but that shouldn't hold you down. A recession doesn't last forever. If everyone started feeling down and no one felt cheery, the world would be a pretty cold place. I guess, I'm starting to ramble about nothing again or what have you. I know not many people actually read or care about this. I'm not doing this to get readers, I guess its more of doing it for myself, and well, my Psychology class but even then I'm not sure if I'm entirely doing this right. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I wasn't really given guidance, so who knows? Not me, that's for sure.

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about was making a list of things you wish to accomplish in life. Call it whatever you want. I'm quite frankly too young to be calling it a bucket list, but some of the things on there should be done when you are younger rather than when you get older. I know I won't be able to accomplish everything in one or two years. Some will take awhile and maybe I won't even get to touch others, but the point is, I'm going to try. My parents know about it and have read my list of items and support me. They've always supported me.

In fact, my mom said she'd like to do some of the things that are listed on my list, which I'll post after I finish this one. My dad said, go right ahead and was talking to me about some of the places that I wish to travel. I don't know, maybe to some people it seems silly and like I'm an idiot for making the list. I know that maybe you don't get it, but I quite frankly don't want to be stuck in little old Indiana doing some monotonous job for the rest of my life. I want to LIVE. I want to experience the world. I want to go to different countries to learn about the culture and language. I wish to bridge that gap between worlds and I don't know. Teach in a poor community sounds like fun. I don't need all that much money, never really thought about wanting any. I just want to help out in the world where I can and experience the world in full.

I already have some friends in different parts of the world. I have a friend who lives in South Africa, so its a wee bit hard to talk to him on a regular basis. He's an amazing person who's taught me a bit about South Africa and willing to answer my random questions about him or his country. I also have a friend in the Philippines who is like my older brother. It was a joke at first, but the nickname of nii-san just stuck and I've been calling him it ever since. Its really hard to talk to him because our time zones are basically flipped on their heads, but he's really nice. He listens and just talks to me. We've had to explain different holidays or schooling systems to each other, but its still awesome.

I also have a really good friend who is a foreign exchange student at my school this year. Her name is Lisa. She's from Japan so a lot of stuff in America is a new experience to her. I've learned a lot of cultural differences from her that I probably couldn't have accessed otherwise. Did you know that in Japan they don't have pretzels? Its seems silly and like such a minor thing, but its amazing all the same. They also don't have dances, instead they have cultural fairs. I don't know about them in full, but I think they sound neat from what she's told me. I know she wishes that they had dances back in Japan, I guess the whole I wish we had x, y, and z thing comes into play here.



Lessthanthree,
Carissa

Arrogant, Ignorant Racist People in my English Class

Alright, so most people are racist at least in some way. Think about it, most of us have stereotypes of other people ground into our head or are racist, even the tiniest bit, without thinking about it. But the level that my English class takes it is just not acceptable. Everyday they say the same things. One guy always writes in his bell work about how Muslims who wear turbans and have beards are all terrorists. This just bugs me. If I try and say anything, I get laughed at and made fun of. I know standing up is the right thing to do, but I'm sick of being the odd man out.

I'm not saying that I'm going to shut up about it or that I am just going to let them go on their merry way. No, I'll constantly speak out and I even told one guy today that everytime he says that kind of stuff, it makes me want to slap him. I'm sure I might eventually. Its just highly annoying and offensive. Really, I can't believe the teacher lets them get away with this kind of junk. Its like it doesn't matter. Its really irritating. I'm just at a loss. Yes, there are terrorists out there, but they aren't just turban wearing Muslims. There was a "liberation" group in Ireland that could be considered a terrorist group against the British.

I don't know. Maybe its just me. Maybe this is a kind of thing that only bothers certain people and I'm not sure if you are one of them, hell, how even reads this blog? Probably no one. I don't know. I'm just at a loss for the stupidity and ignorance of the people in my class. I'm just wanting to leave this school. Its not getting any better. They need to wake up and smell the coffee because I'm pretty sure their jokes and teasing may get them beat up some day and I'll be applauding the person who got offended and took a stance. I'm not saying that I condone violence, but I'm not sure what else would get through to these guys. I guess I've decided that on Monday, when my teacher returns, if it happens again. I'm calmly going to get up and just leave the room. I shouldn't have to expose myself to their slanderous lies and I frankly don't want to. I'm paying to go to this school and I believe the school has a job to do. Part of that job is to combat this ignorance and these comments that people make. I've seen quite a few anti-bullying posters around the school, but they've done nothing really.

People really don't get how much their words can effect another person. I guess what I'm saying is, just think before you talk. Well, the bell rang, so I guess its time to go to my next class.

Lessthanthree,

Carissa